Why Trust Is the Foundation of a Christ-Centered Marriage - Crosswalk PLUS Marriage Devotional
Why Trust Is the Foundation of a Christ-Centered Marriage
By: Michelle S. Lazurek
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13
One day, while serving at a former church, my husband and I argued. We disagreed on how personal leadership should be handled. As we fought, I quickly discovered that my husband had shared intimate details about my life with someone in the church. He trusted this person to keep the information private. However, this person chose to tell leadership, which caused conflict and strife behind the scenes.
This betrayal hurt me deeply. These were intimate details that only my husband knew. Yet, he chose to trust another person over me. After discovering this betrayal, it became difficult for me to trust my husband. When he told me he heard something from the Lord, I questioned whether he heard it from the Lord or if it came from his selfish motivations. I questioned every leadership decision made from then on. Frankly, I didn't trust his ability to use his discernment to know who to tell private details and when not to.
Trust is difficult to rebuild in a marriage; once broken, it is difficult to get back. A couple that doesn't trust each other can't have a thriving marriage. Trust issues lead to false accusations and unfounded suspicions that eat away at and corrode a marriage's foundation. With God's help, however, a couple can rebuild trust.
Upon hearing of his betrayal, I went to the Lord and sobbed. I didn't understand why it was happening, and I had to ask God to bring me through the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not always occur immediately. It can take time and emotional energy to forgive someone fully. Depending on the nature of the offense, it can take several honest attempts on our end to forgive someone.
However, once forgiveness has been achieved, trust can then be rebuilt. When a spouse is repentant over what they've done, it is essential to begin rebuilding trust. A spouse who lords over a person's offense for months (or even years) out of spite will contribute to the lack of a marriage. However, trust can be rebuilt if the spouse shows remorse and a repentant heart.
We are all in need of forgiveness. Sources often say and do things to each other that, at the moment, seem fine, but later on, they live to regret. These behaviors can rock a stable foundation of love and trust. The above verse suggests that we need to bear with each other. Even when our most intimate relationships—our marriages—crumble, we know we can always trust the Lord. The Lord can turn around any situation, even the most profound betrayal.
Take a moment to evaluate your marriage honestly. Do you trust your spouse? What are the reasons behind your distrust? If unforgiveness is at the root, it is essential to begin the process of brokenness. Give yourself time and space to do the process of forgiveness. In the end, your marriage will be better for it.
Forgiveness means acting as if that action had not been committed. Even if a spouse stumbles and does it again yet shows remorse and repentance, you must forgive them. You can rebuild trust when you operate out of the daily action of forgiveness.
Analyze your own heart as well. Do you see yourself with an air of superiority towards your spouse? Do you feel better than them simply because you have not committed the same offense? Although society views specific actions as worse than others, Jesus created all sins equal. His sacrifice on the cross paid for every sin committed, from a white lie to an act of unfaithfulness. When we see ourselves as God sees us as sinners needing grace, we can see our spouses similarly.
Through the lens of humility, we can forgive our spouses. Little by little, we can rebuild trust and, eventually, reconciliation. Even the worst marriage can be rebuilt with the help of the Lord.
Prayer:
Father, let us be willing to forgive our spouses. As Scripture commands, give ourselves the time and space needed to do so. Please give us the tools and ability to trust our spouses once again. Let trust continue to be the bedrock of our marriages. Amen.
Challenge:
Are there any offenses you've committed against your spouse for which you also need God's forgiveness?
What's one way you can rebuild trust in your marriage today?
We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.
